American Idol Recap: Top Four Perform

It’s Rock Week, bitches.

For the first time, the final four were paired up to sing duets as Guns n’ Roses guitarist Slash put them through their paces at the Roxy with a full band and none of the usual soft light, hand-holding, Barry Manilow, “Let’s all sing Kum Ba Yah” and try to impress Randy antics Idol is so prone to.

Adam Lambert was first, singing Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s was way too screechy for us. Adam seemed to only feel comfortable singing glass shattering notes in his upper register and it wasn’t enjoyable to listen to. It was impressive as hell…but not pleasant.

Next, Allison Iraheta sang Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby.” Slash complimented her “natural rock n’ roll mannerism and swagger,” and her voice took on Joplin brilliantly. We were blown away. Like Adam, her voice has range and power, but she knew when to pull it back and when to dish it out. She might not have Adam’s stage presence but she sang circles around him. When the judges ragged on her, we wanted to ring their necks. That’s such obvious BS favoritism. They bow down and lick Adam’s feet but Allison gets ripped? ARRRRGH!!!! We’re so sick of the Idol judges trying to sway the audience toward Adam.

The first duet of the night was “Renegade” by STYX, sung by Kris and Danny. Compared to Allison and Adam, Kris and Danny are painfully out of place. Rock is not their genre and the belted high notes prove too tough for Kris.

Kris Allen was up next to sing his solo, “Come Together” by The Beatles. Slash loaned him one of his guitars which “made him a little nervous,” and those nerves seemed to carry over to the show. Kris is just not fit for Rock night. The songs are too big for him and he lacks the edge needed to pull it off.

Danny Gokey sang “Dream On” by Aerosmith (one of our favorite rock anthems). “He picked a tough song. The main thing is just to get that scream at the end because everybody is going to be waiting for it,” Slash laughed. “You pick that song, you better do it.” And did he? No. From the start, the song was rocky and it never got any better. Watching him was like watching Matt singing “My Funny Valentine,” you know this is their last grasp at the gold ring but it’s like watching a caged animal climbing the walls: desperate, frantic and horrifying. And the last note was a horror movie scream from teenage girl about to meet the end of a sharp knife. If he gets saved, it’ll only be because of the dead wife sympathy vote.

Finally, Allison and Adam took the stage to perform a duet of “Slow Ride.” If these two could dry hump the power ballad genre, they would. It was rockin’, but, more importantly, you could tell they were having the best time. They were on point and their voices sounded great together, even if Adam’s upper register is higher than Allison’s.

If there’s any justice, Danny’s going home this week.

Until tomorrow, The Sauce: Out.

—Sasha Perl-Raver