Oh Hells to the No!

To quote our mom: We need this like we need a loch in kop.

What the hell are they thinking????

Some a-hole has decided to remake Clue.

Our friend John told us about it last night and we could only think of one thing:

“Flames, on the side of my face. Breathing…breathless…heaving breaths.”

Why must they screw around with a film that is already brilliant and perfect?

And there’s no way you’re ever getting a cast that comes close to the original: Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Llyod, Martin Mull, Lesley Ann Warren, all comedic gold!

Worst of all, the film will be directed by Gore Verbinski, the guy who directed two absolutely unwatchable Pirates of the Caribbean sequels (we don’t care how much money they made, the second and third movies both suuuucked) and somehow made Brad Pitt unappealing in The Mexican.

The film is being developed by Universal who has a deal with Hasbro and numerous other board game projects in the works; Ridley Scott is developing a Monopoly movie, a Ouija board flick is in the works and Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) is writing a screenplay for Candyland with Enchanted director Kevin Lima set to helm.

Fine…

Just don’t screw around with Clue.

—Sasha Perl-Raver