Dancing with the Stars Elimination Night Recap: Week Five

The couple invited back for an encore this week was Cody and Julianne re-performing their jitterbug. Proving she’s a consummate professional, whatever stomach problems Julianne may have been experiencing, you’d never have known by the performance she turned in. It was so good in fact, the audience AND the judges lauded them with a standing ovation.

Brian Setzer and his Orchestra whipped out a high octane performance of “Rock this Town” which was accompanied by a dance featuring Karina Smirnoff and Louis van Amstel that was so ripping, there were moments we thought our DVR was fast forwarding. It made us wish Dancing with the Stars was Dancing with the Dancers. Watching people who are exceptionally great at what they do is so much fun and Louis and Karina were absolutely fantastic. We’re sure Karina was just thrilled to be dancing with someone besides bumbling, awkward, rhythmically impaired Rocco DiSpirito.

The first safe couples announced are Warren and Kym and Cloris and Corky (Corky nearly blows a gasket he’s so excited to be saved).

Rut roh.

That means one of the weakest links lives to dance another day. Hmm, our money falls on Susan or Toni as the most likely star to get the ax.

To burn time, DWTS throws more amateur kids to the wolves so they can be humiliated on national TV. We hate this part. There’s a reason Star Search is off the air. Doesn’t ABC understand watching unbridled optimist and hope get slaughtered in front of millions is only entertaining when it happens to overly-confident adults? We have to avert our eyes.

We look back just in time for a “Dance Through the Ages” starting with 1930s tap to the James Brown 60s to the crazy street acrobatics that came out of 1980s breakin’ which is having a resurgence today. The pop n’ lock future was our personal favorite with glimmers of Janet Jackson’s "Rhythm Nation" and a hint of Devo meets The Matrix.

But back to elimination. The next safe couple is Cody and Julianne followed by Maurice and Cheryl, Brooke and Derek and Lance and Lacey, leaving Toni and Alec and Susan and Tony in the bottom two.

And the fifth couple sent home is…

Toni and Alec.

The truth is, they should’ve gone home after their atrocious Viennese Waltz two weeks ago. This was definitely a week of cutting the fat. Once Susan and Cloris are gone also, the show will actually get interesting and competitive. But at least this means no more whining from Toni about her heart condition.

Until next week when the original Lord of the Dance Michael Flattery will be filling in for Len at the judges table.