Dancing with the Stars Recap: Week Eight

Gilles and Cheryl are the first couple to perform their Lindy Hop. It was athletic and energetic, even though Gilles' attempts at Elvis swagger made him look more like Marcel Marceau. “Among the things the French are famous for: French toast, french kissing…and, after tonight, the Lindy Hop,” Len began. “Happy days are here again! You are a great dancer,” Bruno cheered. “This was a whole new side of Gilles, it was fantastic,” Carrie Ann agreed. They receive three nines for 27 points.

Li’l Kim and Derek’s Paso Doble was sexy, sharp and aggressive. “The bitch is back,” Bruno yelled, leaping to his feet. “It was a classic, classy Paso!” “It [showed] how far you’ve grown,” Carrie Ann stroked. “I thought this was going to be a bit of a disaster,” Len admitted. “You’ve come out with fire, with passion, I was expecting ‘Oh no’ and I got ‘Ole’.” The judges give them two nines and a ten for 28 points.

Chuck and Julianne’s Cha Cha Cha was proficient but watching Chuck try to be a sexy, fiery Latin lover was almost laughable. He’s simply too stiff. “You have hit your stride and you were running,” Carrie Ann said. “This is turning into a fantastic competition. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish,” Len continued. “Great bum action,” Bruno offered before chiding, “I felt your arms were too wooden for the Cha Cha.” With two nines and an eight, they earn 26 points.

Shawn and Mark were next to dance a Samba that was fun and jive-y, but Mark stole the spotlight a little too much from time-to-time. It was definitely one of Shawn’s weaker dances. “I don’t think you’ll ever dance bad,” Len demurred, “but, at this stage in the competition, good isn’t good enough.” “You’re always an effortless, carefree dancer,” Bruno commended. “It was wonderful…You are sort of getting this little sexy thing going on,” Carrie Ann countered. One ten, one eight and one nine give them 27 points, tying them with Gilles and Cheryl.

Because of Melissa’s rib injury, she was not able to participate in the performance show, though Tom Bergeron said, “It looks like she’ll be able to continue in the competition.” She and Tony would have danced the Jive but instead of performing live, she was given the same consideration as Steve-O earlier in the season and the audience and judges were given a tape of an earlier rehearsal to base their votes and scores on. Melissa dancing in a sports bra and jeans was the sassiest thing we’ve seen her in all season and gave us our new gymspiration. Judging them based on a rehearsal seems so wrong; they’re not going full-out, the adrenaline of having an audience is missing and they don’t want to blow their wad. However, it was still a damn good performance and might have been the one of the night if Melissa hadn’t been sidelined. “It’s very unfortunate that we have to comment on that…a rehearsal tape doesn’t have the performance power. It’s 50% of a dance. It’s a shame,” Bruno began, weakly. “Unfortunately you guys were going through the motions instead of doing it full out, and that’s normal for rehearsal, but we have to judge that. I have to say my heart goes out for you and Melissa and I hope she feels better because I want her back,” Carrie Ann continued. “Judging the rehearsal is like judging a race car driver on the first lap,” Len said. They receive three sevens which could send them home if the audience doesn’t vote.

Ty and Chelsie’s Salsa, given extra Salsa power by Ty’s pre-game spray tan, was Ty’s best dance to date! Sexy, manly and in control, he rode Chelsie like a bucking bronco. Carrie Ann couldn’t even comment she was so busy squealing. “I LOVED it! Oh my God, Ty,” Carrie Ann giddily gushed. “That was a SALSA! I love it!” “You’ve had the wildest of rides, you’ve hung on for eight weeks. You’ve done really well but I have to be fair…I think it’s time you hit the trail,” Len said, sparking passionate booing. “Maybe it was the spray tan but you just went wild,” Bruno cheered. With a nine, eight and seven, they receive 24 points.

For the first scored team dances, there was Team Mambo and Team Tango.

Team Mambo, comprised of Chuck, Julianne, Shawn, Mark, Tony and Melissa (Lacey Schwimmer filled in for her with only hours to prepare), were first to perform. Their dance to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” was awesome enough but it ended with the men stripping down to black leotards and white tights, a la the SNL sketch, making it one of the best dances ever on DWTS. “It was fun, it was entertaining, what a fantastic job,” Len began. “Something stood out tonight,” Bruno joked. “It was a little much,” Carrie Ann pooh-poohed. Two eights and a nine give their team 25 points.

Team Tango, Gilles, Cheryl, Li’l Kim, Derek, Ty and Chelsie, started their routine with Gilles and Ty both shirtless and greased. Nice. Team Tango is sharp, tight and precise. “You were like a pack of voracious raptors, hypnotic, beautiful!” Bruno gushed. “Team Tango takes it!” Carrie Ann cheered. “Li’l Kim, you had a little blunder. Gilles, your footwork was atrocious. Ty, I told you you needed to come out and nail this, I tell you what: you nailed it. You were fabulous,” Len admitted. Two nines and a ten give them 28 points.

That puts Li’l Kim and Derek at the top of the leader board while Melissa and Tony are at the bottom.

This was a great week! We have no idea who will be sent home tonight but we know it’ll be hard to see them leave. This year’s competition is fierce!

Until tomorrow.

—Sasha Perl-Raver