Dancing with the Stars Recap: Week Four

Facing this week’s double elimination, everyone pushed extra hard with two new dances, the Lindy Hop and the Argentine Tango.

David and Kym were first to perform the Lindy Hop, a perfect dance for David and all his ADD energy. He even threw in a cartwheel. “It had fun, it had energy, occasionally you lost the rhythm,” Len conceded. “The footwork…is something you could work on,” Bruno agreed. “I loved it, I thought it was great,” Carrie Ann countered. The judges give them 22 points.

Li’l Kim and Derek were next with the Argentine Tango, which has some of the most intricate, demanding footwork of all the dances and Kim handled them with aplomb. She had grace and prescence. We didn’t know she could be that sophisticated, and apparently neither did the audience who gave her a standing ovation. “That was more than a tango…that was the promise of forbidden pleasure,” Bruno growled. “You are the real deal…those lines were gorgeous,” Carrie Ann continued. “I was knocked out by the choreography,” Len began. “I was not so impressed with the sensuality of the dance.” They receive one eight (Len), one nine (Carrie Ann) and one ten (Bruno) for 27 points total.

Chuck and Julianne’s Lindy Hop lacked any musicality and made Chuck look like dead weight while Julianne, as usual, got to shine. “Sometimes you’re borderline, but this week: good,” Carrie Ann said. “It was competent but competent won’t get you through,” Len continued. “It’s a bit loose around the edges. It needs to be a little crispier,” Bruno added. They receive 22 points, tying them with David and Kym.

Dancing the Argentine Tango next were Lawrence and Edyta. Sigh. Lawrence is the first NFL player to seriously disappoint. Somewhere Jason Taylor, Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice are hanging their heads in shame at his clunky tango. “It was heavy, lacked any passion and you looked uncomfortable doing it,” Len concluded. “I thought you were menacing, intense, you would scare me!” Bruno disagreed. “I think you exuded power but what was lacking was bit of the chemistry,” Carrie Ann offered, as peace maker. Two sevens and a five, give them 19 points.

Ty and Chelsie’s Lindy Hop was fast, athletic and high energy, earning them another standing ovation. “You were jumping, kicking and skipping with the vitality of a young stallion,” Bruno cheered. “Ty Murray is a dancer!!!” Carrie Ann hollered. “So beyond my expectations!” Len grinned. Two eights and  a nine give them 25 points.

Steve and Karina’s Argentine Tango was absolutely terrible but, as always, a total pleasure to watch because Steve Wozniak is such a charmer. “You are the ultimate underdog,” Carrie Ann began, “but tonight it just felt really long.” “I admire you and I admire your spirit,” Len said, attempting a compliment.  Bruno was unable to contain himself and simply said, “That really stunk.” Three fours give them 12, which is better than the 10 they got last week.

Melissa and Tony’s Lindy Hop was high-flying, leg-flinging, arm-swinging good times. She’s an undeniable pro and their dance was fantastic. “You have got the potential [to go all the way],” Len said. “Bursting with excitement” Bruno burst. “Now I’m impressed!” Carrie Ann said after handing out high fives. Two tens and a nine give them 29 points, the highest score so far this season.

Holly and Dmitry had to push through Holly’s rib injury this week in order to get their Argentine Tango in order. We guess they didn’t push hard enough because they dance still kind of sucks. It’s not Holly’s worst, but it’s certainly not good. “There’s a lot of work to do,” Bruno sighed. “I don’t feel like you’re building strength,” Carrie Ann said. “I can sort of see an improvement,” Len offered. Two fives and a six give them 16 points.

Steve-O and Lacey’s Lindy Hop has enough spaz-i-ness for us to enjoy it but we thought Steve-O would be able to do way more with a dance that requires flips and jumps and stunts. “You’re just a little off on the musicality. Keep working on it,” Carrie Ann groaned. “You’ve got to stay on time with the music,” Len pleaded. “This was more hopping mad than Lindy Hop,” Bruno griped. “You’ve got to listen to the music.” Three fives give them 15, the same score they received last week.

Gilles and Cheryl were last to dance the Argentine Tango and it was straight up sex on a stick. Someone cover Shawn Johnson’s eyes! Even Tom Bergeron said, “That was fierce.” “It was another fantastic performance,” Len applauded. “What you have here is the quintessential Latin lover,” Bruno explained. “I can’t even feel my face,” Carrie Ann grinned. Three tens give them the first perfect score of the competition!

The final couple to dance was Shawn and Mark dancing the Lindy Hop which allowed Shawn to do what she does best, fly through the air with the greatest of ease. “You’ve given us a spectacular feast of tricks,” Bruno yelped. “You were just a bit heavy in the footwork I thought,” Carrie Ann said. “For me, there were too many tricks, a little more dancing needed,” Len added. They receive 25 points.

This week, we’re guessing Steve, Steve-O and Holly will land in the bottom three and two of them will be sent home tomorrow.

Until then…

—Sasha Perl-Raver