Dancing with the Stars Recap: Week Ten

It’s the finals, y’all!

Only three dancers are still ready to rumba: Lance Bass, Brooke Burke and Warren Sapp. We hate to gloat…but we’re going to anyway. When we exclusively announced the DWTS cast list in August, a week before it was revealed on Good Morning America, we called Final Three as Warren, Lance and Susan Lucci. Two out of three, baby!

Who will take home the mirror ball trophy? The anticipation is killing us so let’s dive in.

The night began with Brooke and Derek taking the audience down memory lane with their Fred and Ginger Quickstep and fiery Argentinean Paso Doble, to remind viewers they deserve votes and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt why they’re in the finals.

Lance and Lacey relived their gothic, Interview with a Vampire, No-Strings-Attached Tango and sexy, imaginative Mambo. Seeing them again, we don’t understand why the judges have been so stingy with Lance’s scores.

Warren and Kym brought back the Viennese Waltz that had Warren gliding across the floor like a feather on a cloud and the Matrix-inspired Paso Doble. Both dances we loved at the time but watching them again, back to back, and following Lance and Brooke, Warren seems decidedly out of place. If he wins, it’ll be because of personality not talent and, like Derek reminded everyone at the start of the show, this is a DANCING competition, not a personality competition.

Which is why three couples have to perform in the Samba Smackdown.

Brooke and Derek take the floor first and, we have to admit, Derek outshines Brooke just a bit as her nerves chip through ever so slightly. Lance and Lacey charge onto the dance floor next. When the pressure is on, Lance not only rises to the occasion, he flourishes. Not to be outdone, Warren does a back hand spring as he and Kym dive into the fray. His charisma is undeniable, even when the talent is lacking.

Len thought Warren had “much more content. I’m still worried about the feet but it was fantastic.” He “loved the energy” Lance brought. He gushed all over Brooke, saying, “you’ve been the sensation of season seven. You were the one to beat since week one and I think you’re still the one to beat.”

Bruno couldn’t contain himself when it came to Brooke either. “You are a dazzling, sexy, sizzler of a dancer,” he growled. He praised Lance for being “so tight and so clean” and called Warren “irresistible.”

Carrie Ann told Lance, “something magical is happening” with his dancing but Warren “is definitely the most improved.” But Brooke was “a hair [too] ambitious…but you’re still just fantastic.”

Brooke and Derek are given two nines and a ten for their Samba, for a score of 28. Lance and Lacey receive two nines and an eight (Len’s such a bitch), earning them a 26, while Warren and Kym garner two nines and a seven (damn, Len, what the eff?) for a 25.

The first freestyle begins with Brooke and Derek’s absolutely kick ass homage to Grease, danced to “You’re the One That I Want!” If they don’t win, it won’t be because they didn’t put absolutely everything they had into that dance. “Follow that!” Bruno hollered. “Spectacular! You ended up in positions I’ve only seen in the Kama Sutra. One of the best freestyles I’ve ever seen.” “You brought it,” Carrie Ann cheered. “That was, I think, the best freestyle I’ve ever seen,” super persnickety Len said. Even the judges seem excited to reveal their scores, which are tens across the board! A perfect 30 for 58 out of 60.

Lance and Lacey decided to bring the hip-hop flava for their freestyle which they danced to Run DMC’s “It’s Tricky.” It’s not tricky, it’s totally out of place and we doubt DWTS viewers will get it. It’s not an ‘N SYNC concert and though it’s fun, it falls a little flat. “I have to say, I thought what you did was fantastic but…it didn’t work for me,” Carrie Ann admitted. Len apparently loves hip hop and started his critique by busting some lyrics from “It’s Tricky” before telling them, “I like that you brought fun into it. I thought you did a really good job and I was really pleased with it.” “It was youthful, vibrant and exciting. Very good,” Bruno commended. Three nines earn them a 27 for 53 out of 60.

Warren and Kym take the floor last to dance to “Proud Mary.” While they might not win for their talent, the silver sequins flying off of Kym’s barely there ballroom Barbarella costume might earn them a few extra votes. We’re shocked she didn’t end up butt naked the way that ensemble was falling apart. Len called Warren “an absolute star.” “With you, all resistance is futile. Lay back and enjoy the ride,” Bruno half-chides as he throws his hands in the air. “In all honesty, out of all the routines, that was my favorite,” Carrie Ann confides. “You have this crazy way you just pull us in.” With two nines and a ten (from Len “for entertainment”) they receive a 28 for 53 overall.

At the end of the night, Brooke and Derek, as usual, sit atop the leader board with 58, Lance and Warren are tied with 53 points each.

You know B & D are taking this bad boy all the way.

Until tomorrow, when two new champions will be crowned.