Dancing with the Stars Recap: Week Ten

Melissa and Tony kicked off the semifinal show with a Quickstep that was classy, classic and charming, if a little dull. “I thought it had great musicality…I thought the whole thing was a delight. It was just gorgeous,” Len began. “It was very very good...for me it wasn’t as exhilarating as it could have been,” Bruno admitted. “I’m going to agree with Bruno. It was nice. It was pretty. But I don’t feel real connection,” Carrie Ann concurred. They receive two nines and a ten (from Len), giving them 28 points to start the night.

Dancing the Waltz next were Gilles and Cheryl. While Gilles thrives whenever he’s called on to be sexy, being sophisticated and restrained left him looking artificial and stiff. But the judges couldn’t have agreed with us less. “THAT is how you start a race for the final!!!” Bruno screamed. “That was breathtaking,” Carrie Ann gushed. “I’m giving you a sitting down standing ovation,” Len said, offering golf claps. The judges give them three tens for a perfect 30.

Shawn and Mark danced the Argentine Tango, a dance that demanded a lot from the 17-year-old in terms of maturity and drama, with precision and passion. “You DELIVERED!” Carrie Ann cheered. “This is the most fantastic semi-final. It had an intensity. It was honestly, you’re best performance,” Len continued. “You’ve got it coming big time, honey,” Bruno purred. Three tens tie them for first with another perfect score, their first of the season.

Feeling the pressure after being saved over Li’l Kim and Derek last week, Ty and Chelsie danced a beautiful Viennese Waltz. He’s still a hot mess, but we love it. He’ll never be as good as anyone else left in the competition, but when he says, “The Samba is supposed to be a party but it’s really a pain in the ass with a lot of steps,” we prepare our fingers to dial in our vote for him. He’s not the best dancer, but Ty is definitely our favorite this season. “I don’t think anyone has worked harder, struggled more and no one has tried more than you to become a dancer. You have worked so hard. Overall, I thought it was fabulous,” Len commended. “Look at Gilles and look at this performance,” Bruno begins, throwing his hands up, inspiring venomous boos from the audience and a major argument from Len of all people. “What I love about you is the way you get this whole room generating energy for you,” Carrie Ann attempted. The judges are screaming at each other by the end of their critique. Two eights and a nine (again, from Len) earns them 25 points to start the judging.

For their second dance, Melissa and Tony busted out a Cha Cha Cha that should have easily earned them a spot in the finals, but left us surprisingly cold. “At times you don’t sustain the energy,” Bruno chided. “I’m going to have to agree with Bruno,” Carrie Ann said again. “It’s not to the standard of your Samba,” Len admitted. Three nines give them 27 points for 55 out of 60 points.

Gilles and Cheryl went back to the Latin grooves that have served them so well this season to dance Salsa. A fiery, hip shaking, body-rolling Salsa that had Carrie Ann dancing in her judges chair. “That was Gilles Marini at his finest!” she cheered. “I am almost speechless,” Len gasped. “I wish I had an 11 paddle.” “Bionic Booty #2!!! You deserve to be in the finals,” Bruno shouted. Three tens give them another 30 for a perfect 60 out of 60 for the night.

Shawn and Mark kicked out a Jive that was vibrant, energetic and totally delightful. “For me, there was too much messing about dancing,” Len chided. “I like it when you go wild,” Bruno countered. “You lost a little steam but it’s still really wonderful,” Carrie Ann offered. Two nines and an eight (from Len, which drew a sneer from Mark) give them 26 points and 56 total for the night.

Finally, Ty and Chelsie danced a Samba that made us love him even more. He tries so damn hard. We should all be so lucky to have a little more Ty in us. Watching him, perhaps for the last time, we can’t help but smile. Ty is the best. “You threw everything but the kitchen sink in that Samba…a great, great effort,” Bruno smiled. “I vote you Most Valuable Player of season eight,” Carrie Ann said. “Chelsie, you have a done a fantastic job,” Len offers, dismissively, as if these are the parting words. Two eights and a seven earn them 23 for a final score of 48 out of 60.

No matter who gets sent home tonight, it’s going to hurt.

Until tomorrow…

—Sasha Perl-Raver