Gossip Sauce Emmy Round-Up

Last night, the Emmys celebrated their sixtieth anniversary with the least funny, most awkward award show opening in history. You know David Letterman was sitting on his Barcalounger thinking, “No one will ever be able to give me grief from the ‘Oprah-Uma’ gag ever again.”

If nothing else, Tom Bergeron, Ryan Seacrest (when will he be out already?), Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst and Howie Mandel did such an outrageously terrible job, the pressure is off for any future award show hosts. They can rest assured; they’ll never be as awful as these five, a distinction they all seemed painfully aware of. Halfway through, Bergeron looked like he was going to hang himself with Kathy Griffin’s raggedy red extensions. When you go so far as ripping Heidi Klum's clothes off and your intro still sucks, you know times are tough. We’re just glad Jeremy Piven (who was even more sweaty, twitchy and greasy than usual as he picked up his third statuette for his role on Entourage) commented on it. If he’d let them slide, we would have revoked his Emmy.

Despite the host's best efforts to sink the show, last night wasn’t a total loss. Other highlights included:

-An extremely pregnant Amy Poehler taking the stage with Tina Fey and responding to queries about her due date by snapping "How dare you? I've gained weight for a role." A tip of the hat to Eva Longoria and her peek-a-boo “I’m just fat” bump.

-Zeljko Ivanek winning his first Emmy for Damages after over 26 years in the business.

-Ricky Gervais heckling Steve Carrell for stealing his Emmy last year. There's a new bully on campus as he's a bad-ass mofo. Best laughs of the night.

-Josh Gorban busting out a medley of classic TV theme songs. We adore Josh (don’t hate, you know you sing along to “You Lift Me Up” when no one’s around) and you could tell he was so thoroughly enjoying himself but his slow-mo running while singing the Baywatch theme song solidified him in our mind as a Grade A, first-class P-I-M-P.

- Jimmy Kimmel’s intro of the reality hosts: “Haven’t they been sufficient?” followed by insightful critiques from the judges like Randy’s words for Howie Mandel, “It was a little pitchy, Dawg,” and Paula saying she loves Jeff Probst’s puka shell necklaces and wants to have sex with him. Kimmel’s ninety seconds onstage blew away anything the other five hosts did in the over three hour telecast. Award show producers, take note!

-The night belonged to Tina Fey and the cast of 30 Rock. As her good friend Amy Poehler would say, Woot woo!!!