Let’s Count the Fashion No-No’s

Jesus! Are they trying to blind us?

Scarlett HoJo Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson and Eva Mendes pose together at the Berlin photo call of their new film The Spirit on Monday, creating one of the most violently ugly optical assaults we’ve been inflicted with in a long time.

Question: Why is Samuel L. Jackson wearing velvet pants?

We know he’s a bad mo-fo but his Hefner-esque flared pajama-looking shiny pants paired with a sweater that would make Mister Furley gag is a 9.6 on the Richter Scale of Ugly.

Is The HoJo wearing a body stocking? Whatever the onsie action she’s trying to work, it fails. And tossing that high-waisted beige satin skirt on top doesn’t do her any favors. Did she yank it on over her pjs (which, we guess, was the theme of the day) just before stepping out in front of the cameras? Blech. 

And then there’s Eva.

Oh lordy. We know she loves the slutty 50s housewife look, but come on!

On the plus side, if you let your eyes relax, a dinosaur on a sailboat pops out of her dress.

They’re like the Seven Dwarf rejects: Misguided, Tacky and Trying-Too-Hard.