Lindsay Lohan Not a Lesbian, She’s Barely “Bisexual”

Finally, Lindsay Lohan has addressed the big gay elephant in the room. Kinda.

In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Lindsay Lohan denies that she’s a lesbian but does admit she's dating a wonderful woman with whom she's madly in love.

“I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing,” Lohan said, though she pointedly refused to name her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. Yeah, we know, but we want to hear YOU say it!

When asked if she considered herself to be bisexual, Lohan answered, “Maybe. Yeah.”

When asked if she considered herself to be a lesbian, she emphatically answered, “No.”

Ahem, may we present the definition of the word “lesbian” for Lindsay’s edification:

“1. Alluding to the poet Sappho of Lesbos, whose verse deals largely with her emotional relationships with other women. 2. Of, pertaining to, or characteristic of female homosexuality.”

To clarify, “homosexuality”:  “Sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.”

Lindsay, you’re in a committed, sexual  and emotional relationship with Sam The Man Ronson. You’re a lesbian! Maybe not forever (we can’t imagine La Lohan on penis hunger strike for all eternity) but as long as you’re all up in them Ronson guts, you’re a lesbian. Embrace it! Before you piss Sam off and she dumps your ass.