Lindsay Lohan’s Drunken Peepshow

Las Vegas is not a place Lindsay Lohan needs to be.

The thrice-rehabbed 22-year-old starlet was in Sin City on Saturday to attend the opening night of the new burlesque revue Peepshow, starring Scary Spice, Mel B, and soap star/Dancing with the Stars champ Kelly Monaco.

Lindsay was reportedly there to do recon.

The former actress might be taking over for Kelly when her three month contract is up.

Lord knows Lindsay needs the work, but does she really think she’ll be able to return to movie star status after starring in a live action Showgirls? Bedazzled nipples aren’t exactly the road to Oscar.

More importantly, Vegas seems like the wrong place for a girl who’s about as committed to sobriety as 90210 2.0 is to good writing and discrete product placement. (Who’s got a hankerin’ for Dr. Pepper?)

After the show, Mel B and Lindsay celebrated the show’s opening at Planet Hollywood’s Prive nightclub where they partied until 3am.

Lindsay reportedly made no attempt to hide the fact that she was drinking vodka and soda with a splash of cranberry all night long.

Can you imagine what would happen if she moved there for the show?

She’d make Leaving Las Vegas look like Pretty Woman.

—Sasha Perl-Raver