See it or Skip it: Twilight

We already assume that if you are a fan of the Twilight series, nothing we say here will deter you from seeing the film and relishing every moment. We respect that.

However, if you are not a 12-17-year-old girl who voraciously devoured Stephanie Meyer’s four-part epic of teenage vampire love, be warned!

Twilight, opening today, is one of the worst film’s we’ve seen all year, a fact the filmmakers obviously realized since reviews were forbidden until today; they didn’t want word spreading about the dog they have on their hands.

Hampered by leaden dialogue, wooden acting and a plot both tiresome and uninvolving, this film was made exclusively for the highly forgiving eyes of the book’s built-in fans. Those walking in without previous knowledge of the story will be left befuddled and bored.

Twilight tells the story of Bella Swan (surly, snarling Kristen Stewart) as she moves to Oregon to live with her father but falls in love with Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson, as if you hadn’t already heard), one of her high school’s local vampires who sports some of the worst white out pancake makeup to arrive on screen since silent movies.

The film is repetitious, nonsensical and filled with cringe-worthy moments as actors desperately try to spit out dialogue that should only exist in text messages. Director Catherine Hardwicke, who showed so much promise with Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown, delivers a vampire movie that is defanged and anemic.

Drive a stake through its heart, bust out the garlic and SKIP IT!

P.S. If you do waste your time, please note how Twilight directly rips off Jack Nicholson’s 1994 film Wolf, which we can all agree was far less than stellar. That way you might as least have something to do to past the time while you pray for the end credits to roll.

For you die-hard fans, be sure you enter our Twilight Giveaway before noon PST/3pm EST today for a chance to win some great swag!