Madonna

Reports are circulating that Madonna, 50, and Ritchie, 40, have reached a divorce settlement regarding both money and their kids Lourdes, 12, Rocco, 8, and David, 3. Rocco and David will supposedly split time between both parents in America and London, while Lourdes, whose dad is Madonna’s former personal trainer, Carlos Leon, will live with her mother.

But the real question now is; who got what?

Apparently Madonna isn't the only celeb who makes ambiguously insulting statements about other celebs at public events.

Sean Penn, Madonna's ex, recieved the Stanley Kubrick Britannia Award for Excellence in Film at an awards ceremony in LA on Thursday and used his acceptance speech to put in his two cents about the ongoing Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce...we think.

Guy Ritchie has reportedly turned down Madonna’s first offer to settle their divorce out of court. How much did he say no to?

$31 million.

That’s almost $10,000 for every day they were married. (They were married for seven and a half years for those of you uninterested in doing the math.)

According to one source, “Guy is certainly not going to accept the first offer. $31 million is a lot of cash… but not in their world."

No Duh!

After months of denials amidst rumors they were only staying together to rustle up press for Madonna’s tour (already underway) and Guy’s movie RocknRolla (it opened in LA and NY last week), Guy Ritchie and Madonna have announced they’re getting a divorce after seven and a half years of marriage.

Now Madonna is free to bang all the married baseball players she can get her hands on.

Both Lipstick Jungle lovely Robert Buckley and Sex and the City studmuffin Jason Lewis attended Monday night’s after party for Madonna’s directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, in New York City.

We wonder if they swapped stories of hot cougar lovin’ and how to maintain that perfect six pack.

While we’d love to see both of these boys butt nekkid, if you had to choose just one, would it be Mr. Buck-Me or Mr. Lewis?

How creepily similar do Madonna and Lindsay Lohan look?

Last night, Lindsay was snapped in Manhattan arriving at Henri Bendel’s to promote her line of leggings called “6126,” named in honor of Marilyn Monroe's birthday date, something we’re sure has the legend spinning in her grave. You know Marilyn doesn’t want anything to do with Lohan’s tacky attempt as a new career.

Meanwhile, downtown, Madonna was attending the premiere of her directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, at the Sunshine Cinema.

Take one look at this photo of Madonna from the Madison Square Garden stop, on her Sticky and Sweet Tour, and tell us she doesn’t needs to surrender the fantasy!

It’s time for granny to retire.

The fat lady has sung on A-Rod's marriage…

But was it “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” or “Justify My Love?”

Alex Rodriguez’s divorce from his wife of six years, Cynthia, has been finalized just two months after he was accused of having an extra-marital affair with Madonna. Cynthia said she and their children had endured “a long period of infidelity” that was both physical and emotional.

The couple settled the multimillion-dollar divorce case through private mediation and no details have been made public.

Russell Brand was sweating like a whore in church from the first moment he took the VMA stage and was greeted with crickets. Unlike previous years where the front rows are stars and the rest of the crowd is comprised of rabid, screaming, boisterous fans, 2008 was Bring-Your-Dad-to-the-VMAs-Day. Every time the camera panned the audience it was like a trip to an LL Bean outlet in the suburbs. They treated the show like a trip to Nordstrom with their trophy wives; half-asleep, holding the bags by the guy tickling “Unforgettable” on the piano. What gives?

Guy Ritchie and Madonna arrived at the world premiere of Guy's film RocknRolla at the Odeon Leicester Square in London trying to be picture-perfect people. They failed.

What do you see in this photo?

We’re no body language expert here’s what we notice:

-Those smiles are so fake and forced, they look like they’re about to pull a muscle.