Allison Iraheta

Last night the top twelve boys took the stage on American Idol, and it was bad. It was really bad.

Brought to you by our friend Mel... 

So, I don't think I've ever commented on a Wednesday results show, but AI gave me absolutely no choice last night.

1.  Who makes those bloody Ford commercials?  And more importantly, how do they sleep at night?  They make me want to shoot myself in the face.

Allison Iraheta, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey comprise this season’s final four.

Taking the stages to sing with Slash and the band, Kris, again, just can’t rise to the occasion, Danny grunts and shoves out the best notes he can, which aren’t that good, while Adam and Allison own the song.

Before anyone was announced safe, Paula Abdul left her judge’s chair to perform her new single “I’m Just Here for the Music.”

We thought they didn’t allow lipsyncing on Idol.

It’s Rock Week, bitches.

For the first time, the final four were paired up to sing duets as Guns n’ Roses guitarist Slash put them through their paces at the Roxy with a full band and none of the usual soft light, hand-holding, Barry Manilow, “Let’s all sing Kum Ba Yah” and try to impress Randy antics Idol is so prone to.

Getting down to business, the Idols are split into two groups with Matt Giraud and Kris Allen on one side of the stage, Allison Iraheta and Danny Gokey on the other.

Ryan Seacrest asked Adam Lambert which side of the stage he thought he belonged on. Although he hemmed and hawed for a moment, Adam chose Allison and Danny, thinking they were the better performers last night.

After letting him join them, Ryan announced he was in the wrong group and needed to join Kris and Matt to complete this week’s bottom three.

BURN!

Singing standards made iconic by the Rat Pack, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin, Danny, Allison, Matt, Adam and Kris, the American Idol Top Five, took the stage last night.

Since all the men involved in the Rat Pack are now, sadly, dead, AI busted out Jamie Foxx as their replacement.

Someone pulled some major strings to get that big ol’ plug for The Soloist.

Starting the night was a routine choreographed by Paula Abdul which the Idols lipsynced to, which was one of the most uncomfortable performances we’ve ever had to watch. It made Sanjaya look like a hayride.

But it was nothing compared to the pain of a double elimination.  

The first person announced in the bottom three this week was the first person asked to stand by Ryan Seacrest, Lil Rounds.

Without creating a bottom three, Ryan immediately announces that the journey for Lil “ends tonight.”

Damn.

Last night, the top eight American Idol contestants got to perform songs from the year they were born.

Kicking it off was Danny Gokey who sang “Stand By Me” and could not for the life of him find the right key for the first 45 seconds of the song. Sure he discovered it eventually, but he lost is again numerous times throughout. And why does he always look like he’s dropping a big ol’ deuce when he’s reaching for those high notes?

We’re so bitter.

Norman Gentle is out of the running on American Idol.

But he will forever be Our American Idol, living on in our heart and mind.

Instead, forgone conclusion and the best female singer so far, Allison Iraheta joined the Top 12 along with musical theater bad ass Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Who? Right, that guy from last night who was tolerable but totally forgettable.

We’re calling bullshit!

Nick Mitchell’s Norman Gentle was the best thing to happen to Idol since Kelly Clarkson.