Ashlee Simpson

Not a great week for the Simpson-Wentz clan, huh? First, Ash gets dumped from her gig on Melrose Place. And now her hubby, and the father of her child, Pete Wentz gets a dumb tattoo.

Boy, do we miss the old Melrose Place. When a castmember wasn't quite working out, they blew them up, or drowned them in the pool, or whatever. And they definitely did not send out a press release about it three months in advance.

Our first question when we heard about the new Melrose Place on the CW was: When are they getting Amanda back there?

Looks like Heather Locklear's had a change of heart.

Locklear is in talks to appear in The CW's terrible-looking remake of Melrose Place. She would be joining Laura Leighton, Thomas Calabro, Josie Bissett and Daphne Zuniga, her former co-stars from the original series, who have already signed on for the revamp.

The Simpsons (not the yellow ones) are worried about Jessica after her sudden breakup with Tony Romo. A source close to the family told People, "She's a little depressed."

"She takes breakups really badly," adds another source close to Jessica. "She has a hard time letting go."

Ashlee Simpson and hubby Pete Wentz attended the “Power of Leather” event sponsored by Axe and Rolling Stone in NYC.

The event unveiled new rock memorabilia like the leather pants worn by Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin.

Hello Night of the Living Dead!

Lip syncing Ashlee looks like a corpse. Lay off the black eyeliner please.

And please, eat a sandwich!

Ashlee Simpson clearly hasn't been watching her Gossip Girl.

If she had been she would have known that you don't mess with Georgina Sparks.

Check out the big brain on Heather Locklear!

Heather Locklear, aka: The Only Reason to Watch the New Melrose Place, has decided she won’t be appearing on the CW's MP update because she doesn’t believe the writers can find a way of bringing her character Amanda Woodward back in a way that would made sense.

The actress’ reps have confirmed she declined the offer to return to the role.

Who’s a smart cookie?

Heather is a smart cookie.

While Heather Locklear is all about resurrecting Amanda Woodward on what is quickly becoming the most horrific assemblage in television history (Ashlee Simpson AND Mischa Barton, oooh the humanity), other Melrose Place alums are much smarter.

Oh.

My.

God.

As if the show weren’t already on the road to Sucktown, USA, it just hopped an express train there.

Ashlee Simpson has joined the cast of The CW’s revival of Melrose Place.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!! 

She will play “small-town girl Violet, a character whose disarming naiveté masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within.”

Melrose Place is dead to us now.