Beijing

A casting call for the new, godforsaken Karate Kid remake went out to agents and managers this week with the film’s synopsis attached.

They are not re-inventing the wheel of this one. In fact, it’s pretty direct rip off of the original…except in China instead of Reseda, California.

Ooooo, original.

The breakdown reads:

A gold medal wasn’t the only thing Kerri Walsh brought home from Beijing.

The two-time Olympic gold medalist and her husband Casey Jennings are expecting their first child.

The beach volleyball superstar announced her pregnancy during an exclusive interview with Billy Bush.

"I'm chubby and I'm pregnant and it's awesome!" Kerri said on Wednesday morning.

"How pregnant are you?" Billy asked.

"About 16-and-a-half weeks," she revealed.

We’ve been so distracted by our love of Mikey Phelps, we’ve ignored many of the other Olympic lustables. An unforgivable oversight we will begin to rectify immediately.

We offer this as our sincere apology: Peter Hudnut.

Bad name, good face. And, even covered up in a t-shirt and warm up pants, you can see there lurks the body of a Greek God underneath.

Petey is a member of the USA men’s water polo team who was snapped arriving at LAX after winning a silver medal at the Beijing Olympics.

Go USA! Hudnut is Hot.

We have a hot date on Saturday, September 13th!

Our boyfriend, Olympic superstar Michael Phelps, is set to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live, kicking off the show’s 34th year. Lil Wayne, whose song “It’s Me,” was Mikey’s anthem as he prepared for each race in Beijing, will be the musical guest.

We would sell our mother to be able to go to the taping and, even better, the legendary SNL after party! Seriously, who wants a kidney? We’ll trade.

There will never be another Michael Phelps, but in Australia they have mad love for Olympic Swimmer Eamon Sullivan.

Remember Ian Thorpe? He used to be lightning fast and super sexy; everyone called him The Thorpedo. Then he showed up at this year’s Olympics talking smack about our boy Phelps, looking all bloated and puffy, sporting shirts three sizes too tight and a hair line that was shrinking like the polar ice caps. Ew.

Shawn Johnson brought all four foot nine inches of her plucky spunk to The Late Show with David Letterman last night. While we give her mad props for crushing her balance beam routine, if she had a caftan and some blue hair she'd be a real Golden Girl.

Shawn won one gold and three silver medals in gymnastics at the Beijing Olympics.

Since she’s only 16, expect to see her again in London for the 2012 competition.

Flames…on the side of our face. Breathing…breathless…heaving breaths.

People can say whatever they want about his ears, his grill or the length of that chin, but Michael Phelps is our ultimate dream-man. Ours…and the rest of the world’s since his historic victory in Beijing.

Of course, we suspected hoochies would go crazy pro-ho for our man (who, by the by, we’ve lusted after since 2004, so these new bandwagon jumpers can suck it), hailing the conquering hero upon his return.

It was a record that took 36 years to break. Last night, a new chapter was added to the history books as Mark Spitz’s record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics was overtaken by Michael Phelps Eight-is-Great effort.

Eight gold medals, in an Olympics that started at 8pm on 8-8-08; some might say it was written in the stars for Phelps. Of course Michael, his family and his coach Bob Bowman know it was written in years of dedicated practice and grueling training and the legend is now inerasable.

Is there anyone in the world who doesn’t already know about (and lust after) Michael Phelps?

But what about Ryan Lochte?

Phelps may be swimming’s golden boy but Lochte, Phelps’ friend and rival, deserves some time in the sun too! Hello, he’s stunning! And a phenomenal swimmer!

Lochte and Phelps face off in both the 200 and 400 IM’s at the Olympic Games in Beijing (Phelps already won the 400 and set a new world record with Lochte finishing 3rd) and have been able to maintain a strong friendship despite being pitted against each other for years.