DeAnna Pappas

The most recent Bachelorette couple, DeAnna Pappas and her fiancé Jesse Csincsak, have broken up.

Well, we know it’s not because she’s dating Jeremy (DeAnna is a flippin’ idiot).

WHY?!?!?!

Instead of Jeremy or Graham, two of the foxiest men around, freaky-non-blinking-sappy-puppy-dog-let’s-play-leap-frog Jason will be the new Bachelor.

Yuck!

Jason Mesnick,32, was rejected by DeAnna Pappas on last season’s finale of The Bachelorette. Grrrreat, thanks DeAnna. Because of you and your craptastic taste we have to suffer through a season with Jason, the sad sack single father who whines ad nauseum about how badly he’s been hurt so he “forgot” how to love. Gag, choke, barf! He is sooooo repellent.

Not long ago, our Monday nights were reserved for Graham and Jeremy, our two favorite bachelors who unbelievably got kicked to the curb by DeAnna Pappas on The Bachelorette.

In our heart of hearts, we truly felt Graham had been voted off the island because he was destined to be with us. And now we see this.

Ewwwwwwww.

The Bachelorette finale was only three days ago and the Jesse/DeAnna (or, as they’re referring to reach other, “J & D”) overload-of-love has already begun.

Thursday was a busy night for DeAnna and Jesse, appearing on America’s Best Dance Crew and then throwing out AND catching (the couple that plays together, stays together) the first pitch at the Dodger's game, site of one of their first dates, where DeAnna gave Jeremy a rose and barely acknowledged Jesse, but that’s neither here nor there.

Last night, DeAnna Pappas bestowed her final rose on the man she’s fallen in love with, a man she plans on marrying and spending the rest of her life with, a man NO ONE expected her to choose: Jesse, the snowboarder from Colorado with the coolest parents in the world.

That meant Jason — clingy, needy single father from Seattle Jason — was left out in the cold.

Sucks to be you, buddy. Go find some other woman to torture with games of leapfrog and hour-long staring contests (did you notice he never blinked?).

We. Have. No. Words.

DeAnna Pappas is officially the stupidest woman in the world. Last week she voted Graham off the island and this week…we don’t even know that we can say it…she…she…sent Jeremy home.

There’s no point in watching the show anymore. DeAnna is a self-involved, entitled, princess-y little bitch. We’re over her. The show is down to sickingly sweet puppy dog and single dad Jason (gag) and snowboarder Jesse. Boooooring.

We still can NOT believe our man Graham was eliminated on last week’s episode of The Bachelorette. We’re on a stalking mission to find him and make him our own!

Date #1:Jesse
Breckinridge, Colorado
Okay, when did Jesse get so freakin’ hot? Is it because he’s in his element, because he washed his hair? Or has he grown on us the way he’s growing on DeAnna, like a fun, funky fungus. You think it’s a little gross sometimes, but you kinda like it too.

Last night’s episode of The Bachelorette started with Jeremy, Graham and Paul moving into The Big House and immediately taking their shirts off for a dip in the pool.

Lord have mercy, Graham’s body is the stuff of legends. DeAnna says “I want Graham to spend the rest of the time in my house with his shirt off.”

And the other men are rattled. Brian, the sweet, super-tall football coach from Texas says “Jeremy and Graham, those are the guys [to beat].” (Which is what we’ve been saying since day one.)

Welcome to week two of The Bachelorette. How did the men fare?

Well, our man Graham got the first solo date AND the first kiss. On the beach. By the fire. Hot!

But then Jeremy, our pick to win the whole enchilada, won a home-run derby and got one-on-one time to tell DeAnna that both of his parents are deceased. Tear jerk moment, here comes the sensitive guy. We even wanted to jump into our TV and kiss his booboo.