Dina Lohan
Ever wonder why Lindsay Lohan's career is currently in the crapper?
Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, claims it's because God is punishing her.
The world's most dysfunctional family is at it again.
Lindsay and Dina Lohan are fighting back against Michael Lohan's attempts to take control of Lindsay's life (a la Britney and Jamie Spears) by talking to the press and threatening legal action.
According to OK! Magazine, Dina Lohan is finally stepping up to the mom plate and trying to get ger daughter to go back to rehab.
Allegedly, the Lohans got into a massive fight in the early morning hours of Easter Sunday when Lindsay came home majorly wasted, and Dina decided to have a “Come to Jesus” talk with her.
Really, Dina?
This is the same woman who dropped her daughter off to Bardot earlier in the week like a mom dropping her kid off at the mall.
Everywhere you turn, there are reports about how totally effed up Lindsay Lohan is over her breakup with Sam Ronson.
She’s a 22-year-old going through a breakup, of course she’s a mess (speaking of, can you believe she’s only 22? She looks rough).
We’ve got money that says rehab, a DUI, a cutting incident or a really unfortunate hookup (Brody Jenner take #2?) are in her very near future.
Dina Lohan peddled her wares…we mean, brought her 14-year-old slut…we mean, daughter, Ali Lohan to Animal Fair Magazine's 8th annual Halloween pet costume party in New York on Monday night.
Oh look, they both came dressed as pussy. Cats. Pussy cats.
Dina has openly said she wants to turn Ali into a star like her sister Lindsay (who’s already a has-been at 22 but that’s neither here nor there). How do you think she’s marketing her?
And do you think the bowtie was meant to add a touch a’ class? What about the Pam Anderson-esque temporary arm band tattoo?
No one does drama like the Lohan clan.
It's been reported that Lindsay Lohan is now considering taking out a restraining order against her own father, Michael Lohan. She would be following in the footsteps of her mom, Dina, and her younger sister, Ali, who already have orders of protection filed against him.
This sounds like the plotline of Lindsay’s craptacular film I Know Who Killed Me (BTW: we’re still pissed at our friend who made us watch that last week) but it’s real life.
Lindsay Lohan’s father, skeevy Michael Lohan, fathered a child, a daughter, while still legally married (but separated) to now-ex-wife, dirty fame whore, Dina Lohan, when he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.
That’s right, Dina, Michael is gunnin’ for you and he isn’t afraid who knows it.
Lindsay Lohan’s uber-dysfunctional parents, Michael and Dina Lohan, who divorced in December 2005, arrived at Nassau County Family Court outside New York this morning.
Michael has filed papers to re-open their divorce case claiming Dina will not allow him to see their children. Michael says his former wife has reneged on the deal they made when they split allowing him to see their two youngest children, 14-year-old Ali and 11-year-old Cody.
After playing the what-are-you-talking-about-my-daughter-is-straight game a liiiiittle too long, Dina Lohan has finally addressed the talk about her daughter’s lesbian relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.
"If she's happy, I'm happy. That's all I'll say," Dina adds, "Samantha's great. I've known her and her family for ten years."
We’re guessing that’s as close to a confirmation as we’re gonna get from Mama Lohan.
Dina Lohan, momanger to trainwreck daughter Lindsay Lohan (way to drive that cash cow into the ground, Dina), continues her unbridled quest for fame and recognition by whoring out both herself and her younger daughter, Ali, to E! for a new reality show, Living Lohan.
E! has released a sneak preview that shows just what to expect.
All we can say is: Ewwwwwwwww!