Eva Longoria

Uh, sort of. So you may have already heard that there's going to be a plane crash on Wisteria Lane over at Desperate Housewives. The constant murders, suicides, car accidents, and, oh yeah, the tornado weren't enough. Now an actual plane is going to crash onto the street.

We haven't always been Teri Hatcher's biggest fan around here, but this weekend she raised $20,000 at a garage sale for charity, so we can't really argue with that. (Last time we had a garage sale, we barely reached $100, so we'll give her some credit!)

Hatcher was going through old junk (and by junk we mean expensive clothes and purses she probably never used), when her daughter Emerson had the idea to throw a garage sale.

Eva Longoria Parker plans to get her Master’s degree in Chicano studies and political science to learn about her heritage.

Eva is originally from Texas, but her family lives in Monterrey, Mexico. She was recently in Mexico City shooting her first Spanish-speaking role for the upcoming film, Days of Grace.

She told Hola Magazine that she wants to “learn more about the history of the country we come from.”

The Desperate Housewife already has a Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology from Texas A&M!

Ummm, who told Kim Kardashian she looked good like that?

Because they were lying.

Kim showed off her wanna-be Eva Longoria locks while out to lunch at Cipriani’s in Soho yesterday and she looked busted!

The fake tan, heavy makeup and blonder ‘do are doing her no favors.

Armenian Barbie needs to go back to the salon and take herself back to black.

Bad scene.

We really should dedicate an entire category to the state of Katie Holmes’ saggy, lopsided nipples which left us so traumatized we had nightmares, but we’re going to try to go to our happy place instead and pray that memory starts to recede.

Best:

Long have been the days of the red, strapless, sweetheart mermaid gown. It’s a Hollywood classic.

At last night’s Golden Globes, both Kyra Sedgwick (nominated for The Closer) and Eva Longoria (who presented with smokeshow Simon Baker) did their best Jessica Rabbit, Eva in Reem Acra, Kyra in Oscar de la Renta. But who wore it best?

Eva in her skin-tight, pushed up version or Kyra in her Gilda version?

All we’re saying is, somewhere Rita Hayworth is giving Kyra golf claps.

Last night the Critics' Choice Awards were handed out in Santa Monica. We already know who won awards but who deserves a rave for their style sense and who left the red carpet in shame?

Scathing Word of Mouth:

Amanda Bynes: Tsk tsk tsk. We love Amanda Bynes, but her second skin, hot pink Herve Leger dress is way too Streetwalker Barbie. She’s the second coming of Mariah Carey in that outfit… and that is NOT a good thing.

“Gaining weight for a role” comes with all kind of perks, including exciting big new boobs…just like when you’re pregnant.

Eva Longoria continues to deny pregnancy rumors although the weight she says she gained to play a worn out, single mother on Desperate Housewives seemed to be contained to her breasts and belly. We’re not sayin’…we’re just sayin’.

Eva Longoria and her husband Tony Parker arrived at the EA Sports video game launch of NBA LIVE 09, hosted by Tony Eva’s restaurant Beso in Hollywood on Saturday.

Hello, maternity wear. Could that blouse-y top be any more obvious as a bump cover?

Tony recently went on the record to say he doesn’t understand why people don’t believe Eva’s repeated denials that she’s just “fat” saying that if she were pregnant, they’d be thrilled to announce it. “We don't wanna hide it. I don't know why people keep asking us.”

Taking a cue from the stock market, last night’s Emmy Awards were in constant, violent flux. The show opened with The Almighty O, Oprah, and then plummeted into the outer rings of hell when the reality hosts took the stage armed with ... nothing. Steve Carrell and Ricky Gervais managed to jolt the show back to life but then the Desperate Housewives took the stage and used their time to prove they’re the happiest cast on TV (Dana Delany kissing Marcia Crosses forehead was Manson-style overkill).