Hasbro

To quote our mom: We need this like we need a loch in kop.

What the hell are they thinking????

Some a-hole has decided to remake Clue.

Our friend John told us about it last night and we could only think of one thing:

“Flames, on the side of my face. Breathing…breathless…heaving breaths.”

Why must they screw around with a film that is already brilliant and perfect?

This better be as good as Clue.

Although we don’t see how it could be.

Ridley Scott has signed on to direct a big screen adaptation of Monopoly.

As in the board game, with hotels and railroads.

Ridley will supposedly give the Monopoly movie a futuristic spin a la his 1982 epic Blade Runner.

Oookay.

Monopoly is one of several projects in a partnership with Hasbro Games and Universal Studios.

Michael Bay is on board (pardon the pun) to co-produce a live action Ouija film for Universal. The movie will be produced in association with Hasbro, the maker of Ouija as well as Monopoly, Candy Land, Chutes & Ladders and Clue.

The only reason we think the film might not be painfully horrendous is because 1985’s Clue is such an excellent and imminently quotable film.