Lacey Schwimmer

Last night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars began with a lot of questions. Who’s the French guy again? Why the hell is Lacey Schwimmer walking down the stairs by herself? And did the makeup people really need to go so crazy with Melissa’s spray tan? It’s very George Hamilton.

The DTWS Curse is wreaking havoc on Steve-O.

The Jackass star had to sit out Monday’s Dancing with the Stars performance show after suffering a back injury during dress rehearsal with his partner Lacey Schwimmer.

Host Tom Bergeron explained that Steve-O, who is already dealing with pinched nerves in his back, “landed on his mic pack” while doing a front flip. “As a precaution,” Bergeron said “he went to the hospital to get checked out and he hopes to be back next week.”

Mark Ballas has pulled a muscle.

And it wasn’t in his face.

Dancing with the Stars pro Ballas, who has the most severe case of “Dancer Face” we’ve ever witnessed, has suffered a groin injury and will have to take a couple of weeks off the DWTS Tour to heal he announced to the crowd on Saturday night at the tour’s stop at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

It’s the finals, y’all!

Only three dancers are still ready to rumba: Lance Bass, Brooke Burke and Warren Sapp. We hate to gloat…but we’re going to anyway. When we exclusively announced the DWTS cast list in August, a week before it was revealed on Good Morning America, we called Final Three as Warren, Lance and Susan Lucci. Two out of three, baby!

Who will take home the mirror ball trophy? The anticipation is killing us so let’s dive in.

Before a single dancer hit the floor last night, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, sounding incredible, sang her classic “Chain of Fools.” If ABC is going to make us sit through an hour of filler before announcing which three couples have made it to the finals, THIS is the kind of entertainment we wish we had all the time.

Following Aretha was the emerging princess of pop, Leona Lewis. She is stunning in every imaginable way: her face, her voice, her body, her hair. We love Leona!

If Star Magazine is to be believed, Cody Linley has turned into a raging hormone monster on the set of Dancing with the Stars, hitting on everything that moves and creating incredible amounts of tension and discomfort on the set for Lacey Schwimmer and Kym Johnson.

Well, we’re calling bull*%^t!

Our inside sources tell us that they story is COMPLETELY FALSE.

With only one week until the semi-finals, last night’s show started with the final four in foul form.

The couple invited back for this week’s encore was Warren, or, as Bruno calls him, Mr. Big Fun, and Kym to perform their 007 Tango.

Back in the red room, Julianne Hough, recovered from her appendectomy, thanked Edyta for stepping in. “You’ve done an incredible job and I really mean that,” she said, with an underlying air that perhaps the two had some previous tension between them. “We’re all one big family here,” Samantha Harris gushed while Julianne made a face. What’s up with that Lady Bird?

Cody and Edyta, who’s still filling in for Julianne who hasn’t fully recovered from her appendectomy, performed an affably charming Foxtrot for their first dance. It wasn’t fireworks and lightning but it had a charm, grace and ease, which Cody’s mad frenetic energy (which we dig) usually lacks. Len was “pleasantly surprised. You had an elegance and I thought you did a top notch job.” “I never thought I would see it!

Earlier this week, Julianne Hough was forced to leave Dancing with the Stars to have her appendix removed due to complications with endometriosis. While she’s safely recovering and hopes to be back on the dance floor in a week (Edyta Sliwinska will be filling in with her partner Cody Linley), another dancer has been diagnosed with the same aliment, pro Lacey Schwimmer.