Married...with Children

Mickey Rourke, consider this an intervention.

We know you're excited about reviving your career, winning awards for your role in The Wrestler, and hooking up with inappropriately young women. 

What you're not is Al Bundy in Married...with Children. So please stop having your picture taken with your hands either in your pants or hovering just over your crotchal region. It's grossing us out.

DWTS Elimination Night always sucks. ABC makes us suffer through sixty minutes to reach the 10 seconds when they announce who’s cut. Making last night even suckier: one of the first safe couples. 

Seriously, America? Seriously?

You saved Kim and her Norman Schwarzkopf of an ass? What were you thinking? Now we have to suffer through another week of her phony humility and moronic blathering. Thanks.

Christina Applegate, who rose to fame playing slutty ditz, Kelly Bundy on Married…with Children, has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

The 36-year-old actress who currently stars on ABC’s Samantha Who is expected to make a full recovery.

This has been a hard time for Applegate; less than a month ago her photographer ex-boyfriend Lee Grivas was found dead in his Hollywood apartment after an apparent drug overdose.