Melrose Place

Boy, do we miss the old Melrose Place. When a castmember wasn't quite working out, they blew them up, or drowned them in the pool, or whatever. And they definitely did not send out a press release about it three months in advance.

Our first question when we heard about the new Melrose Place on the CW was: When are they getting Amanda back there?

Tonight's the big night. Melrose Place is back, debuting at 9pm tonight on The CW. But will you be watching?

We're certainly intrigued. The original was the ultimate guilty pleasure. But 90210 was just so bad last season, we're not sure if we're ready to go through that again. Who are we kidding? We already have our DVRs set, but we're just not committing yet, okay?

Looks like Heather Locklear's had a change of heart.

Locklear is in talks to appear in The CW's terrible-looking remake of Melrose Place. She would be joining Laura Leighton, Thomas Calabro, Josie Bissett and Daphne Zuniga, her former co-stars from the original series, who have already signed on for the revamp.

Ashlee Simpson clearly hasn't been watching her Gossip Girl.

If she had been she would have known that you don't mess with Georgina Sparks.

Ryan Eggold is going to be doing double duty on the CW next year.

He’ll be appearing on both 90210 2.0 and the redo of Melrose Place.

So he could potentially be on two of the worst shows on television.

Yay, him.

Oh, Leggo My Eggold. What happened?

We had such high hopes for you. We hope you’re planning on spending your summer vacation making the movie that allows you to be the next John Cusack, as you should be.

The doctor is in.

Dr. Michael Mancini, that is.

Thomas Calabro, aka Mike Mancini, will be joining his former co-star Laura Leighton on the CW’s new Melrose Place. 

Calabro will be playing the father of David Patterson, played by Shaun Sipos.

The Melrose alums are swarming like flies to pooh.

—Sasha Perl-Raver

Heather Locklear said suck it, Lisa Rinna is begging for it, but Laura Leighton is officially the first OG Melrose Place cast member to sign onto the new CW pilot as a recurring character.

That’s right, y'all, Sydney Andrews is back for more.

What makes her return so scandalous is Sydney has been presumed dead since 1997!

Check out the big brain on Heather Locklear!

Heather Locklear, aka: The Only Reason to Watch the New Melrose Place, has decided she won’t be appearing on the CW's MP update because she doesn’t believe the writers can find a way of bringing her character Amanda Woodward back in a way that would made sense.

The actress’ reps have confirmed she declined the offer to return to the role.

Who’s a smart cookie?

Heather is a smart cookie.

Not that Melrose Place isn’t going to suck, but it might suck a little less now that it’s been confirmed that Mischa Barton will NOT be joining the cast.

She gets her very own CW show to ruin.

Mischa has been cast in A Beautiful Life, a new semi-autobiographical show Ashton Kutcher is producing. It follows a corn-fed Iowa boy who embarks on the big bad world of modeling.

Mischa has been cast as Sonia, one of the bitchiest of the bitchy models.

Of course she has.