Michael Lohan

Ever wonder why Lindsay Lohan's career is currently in the crapper?

Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, claims it's because God is punishing her.

The world's most dysfunctional family is at it again.

Lindsay and Dina Lohan are fighting back against Michael Lohan's attempts to take control of Lindsay's life (a la Britney and Jamie Spears) by talking to the press and threatening legal action.

Even though Jon and Kate Gosselin’s 10-year marriage has ended, the reality show lives on!

Blah.

TLC announced that the reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8 will be renamed to Kate Plus 8 beginning on November 2nd.

The show will continue to focus on the lives of the Gosselin twins, 8, and the 5-year-old sextuplets. But now there will be a new direction: Kate’s struggles as a single mom. (Give us a break!)

Even as Lindsay Lohan seems to moving towards slowly getting some semblance of a functional life back, her father, bat-guano insane Michael Lohan, is in trouble with the law once again.

Michael, whom Lindsay has previously considered getting a restraining order against, was arrested in the beginning of April for threatening to kill his fiance and himself if she broke up with him. He appeared in a New York court yesterday to answer to those charges.

Disney's Miley Cyrus wants everyone to know that her relationship with her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, is complex, but not in an Electra complex sort of way.

The Hannah Montana star addressed talk that she and her country music star father are a little too close for comfort in her upcoming(Seriously? She's 16! That should only be enough for the preface to a memoir.), Miles to Go.

No one does drama like the Lohan clan.

It's been reported that Lindsay Lohan is now considering taking out a restraining order against her own father, Michael Lohan. She would be following in the footsteps of her mom, Dina, and her younger sister, Ali, who already have orders of protection filed against him.

Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized early yesterday morning after a motorcyclist sideswiped her as she made her way home from a night of clubbing in Manhattan.

What the eff is a recovering addict doing partying until 3am???

According to reports, Lindsay was outside of a club on 32nd street with sapphic sidekick Samantha Ronson when she was hit by a motorcycle. Lohan was taken to Beth Israel Medical Center, where she was treated and released by 4am. The reports have been confirmed by the troubled starlet’s dad, Michael Lohan.

This sounds like the plotline of Lindsay’s craptacular film I Know Who Killed Me (BTW: we’re still pissed at our friend who made us watch that last week) but it’s real life.

Lindsay Lohan’s father, skeevy Michael Lohan, fathered a child, a daughter, while still legally married (but separated) to now-ex-wife, dirty fame whore, Dina Lohan, when he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.

That’s right, Dina, Michael is gunnin’ for you and he isn’t afraid who knows it.

Lindsay Lohan’s uber-dysfunctional parents, Michael and Dina Lohan, who divorced in December 2005, arrived at Nassau County Family Court outside New York this morning.

Michael has filed papers to re-open their divorce case claiming Dina will not allow him to see their children. Michael says his former wife has reneged on the deal they made when they split allowing him to see their two youngest children, 14-year-old Ali and 11-year-old Cody.

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael Lohan, is speaking out about his daughter’s rumored Sapphic romance with DJ Samantha Ronson.

While Lindsay’s mother and sister have said the pair are just “really good friends,” photos recently emerged from Cannes showing Lindsay and Sam cuddling, kissing, and nuzzling necks on P. Diddy’s yacht. Michael has gone on record as saying their relationship is “evident to anyone with half a brain.”