MTV Video Music Awards

Russell Brand says he cannot wait to see the Jonas Brothers again after he was named the host of the MTV Video Music Awards for the second year in a row.

Brand caused controversy last year when he cracked jokes about the purity rings worn by the teenage band.

The British comic told Ryan Seacrest that he hoped the band would one day play at his wedding – which could even be to one of the brothers.

Not only did Russell Brand’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards straight up suck; the fallout from his George W. Bush jokes got some crazed, backwoods red-necks so up in arms he received death threats.

All that because he called Dubya a "retard" during the ceremony?

Ummm, Junior is a retard…but we feel bad saying that because it gives retards a bad name.

Russell Brand was sweating like a whore in church from the first moment he took the VMA stage and was greeted with crickets. Unlike previous years where the front rows are stars and the rest of the crowd is comprised of rabid, screaming, boisterous fans, 2008 was Bring-Your-Dad-to-the-VMAs-Day. Every time the camera panned the audience it was like a trip to an LL Bean outlet in the suburbs. They treated the show like a trip to Nordstrom with their trophy wives; half-asleep, holding the bags by the guy tickling “Unforgettable” on the piano. What gives?

Continuing last night’s theme of suckiness, the red carpet was littered with fashion choices that ranged from questionable to downright hideous. While there were no stand outs in the “Give ‘em a golf clap” category, there were a plethora of choices for the “Give ‘em a good hard smack to knock the sense back in” list.

Rather than offer a Best and Worst Dressed, these are the Best of the Worst and Worst of the Worst from last night’s VMAs held on the Paramount backlot in Hollywood.

After her disastrous performance at last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, Britney Spears has announced that she will once again attempt a comeback and open the show.

It’s gonna be another white knuckle express.

Come on, Brit Brit! You can do it, girl. Get a snake, some ass-less chaps and put your hair in pigtails; you’ll be fine.

We freely admit it, we have a serious problem. We’re gonna have to join David Duchovny in rehab for sex addiction because we have a Phelps Phetish.

Yesterday he visited New York’s McBurney YMCA to swim with kids in Manhattan. How cute is that!?!?!? And…he wore a SPEEDO! Hallelujah!

Do you think that little girl realizes how lucky she is? If she were about five years older, we’d be ready to shiv her. Seriously, lying in the water in our Mikey’s arms; that is our ultimate fantasy.

Russell Brand has been name the hosts of this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, set to air live from Paramount Pictures Studios in Los Angeles on September 7th.

Seven years ago, Brand was an MTV VJ in London who got fired after arriving for work dressed as terrorist Osama Bin Laden the day after the September 11 terror attacks.