Rafael Nadal

Roger Federer needs to learn how to suck it up.

After falling in five sets to Rafael Nadal at the Australian Open (7-5, 3-6, 7-6, 3-6, 6-2), R-Fed could not get it together for the life of him.

We’re talking big, globbing, red-nosed, snot faced, man-tears running down the face of the former number one seed in the world.

Dude was crying his eyes out.

We told you it had to be a major event to get the likes of Martha Stewart, Anna Wintour, Oscar de la Renta, Boris Becker and Forest Whitaker to be seen somewhere as common as Flushing, Queens.

Turns out they were there to see this man play, Rafael Nadal.

Yep, pretty mayjah!

The Wimbledon and French Open champ played against Bjorn Phau of Germany, winning the match (of course) 7-6 (4), 6-3, 7-6 (4).

How can you not cheer for a man this lovely and gifted?

The fiery Spaniard, Rafael “El Matador” Nadal, or Roger “Fed Express” Federer, the Swiss colossus?