Ray Liotta

Jessica Biel’s attempt to go deep and bare her soul – along with her breasts – will never hit the big screen.

Her latest film, Powder Blue, is getting the Jessica Simpson treatment and being banished straight to DVD.

If your idea of funny is watching a fat naked man with an inverted stump of a penis run through a mall in slo-mo to The Pixies “Where is My Mind” (aka: the song from the end of Fight Club), then Observe and Report is for you.

If obnoxious, repellent characters, overblown performances, nonsensical writing and the F-bomb ever other word gets you off, we can tell you exactly where to spend your hard earned money this weekend.

If you enjoy one note performances that drone on for hours, we have the movie for you.

What Crossing Over wants to be is Crash.

What Crossing Over is: a long, laborious, droning headache.

The film follows multiple storylines across Los Angeles, all dealing with issues of American citizenship, nationalization, patriotism and homeland security. But the thing that made Crash both blistering and poignant was the way it showed how worlds collide and lives are changed.

Crossing Over might as well be called “A Bunch of Scenes About Immigration Where Sucky Things Happen.”