Recap

Do you really need a recap?

Don’t we all already know that Adam Lambert is winning?

That’s been a foregone conclusion since jump.

But here’s what happened last night.

Each judge and each Idol got to pick a song to perform.

Danny Gokey sang Paula’s choice for him “Dance Little Sister” first. We can’t stand the sound of Danny’s voice. His gravelly, flat, rasp is so old and all we think when he’s onstage is “dead wife.”

Leaving the stars, and the audience in anxious anticipation, DWTS was all about filler last night.

First up, the competition for a new pro entered its final stage with Mayo being paired with Kym Johnson while Anna was with Maks. Our least favorite wannabe new pro, Afton, got the boot last week.

This week the new wannabe pro had to deliver a performance that was a test of their choreography skills.

Melissa and Tony kicked off the semifinal show with a Quickstep that was classy, classic and charming, if a little dull. “I thought it had great musicality…I thought the whole thing was a delight. It was just gorgeous,” Len began. “It was very very good...for me it wasn’t as exhilarating as it could have been,” Bruno admitted. “I’m going to agree with Bruno. It was nice. It was pretty. But I don’t feel real connection,” Carrie Ann concurred. They receive two nines and a ten (from Len), giving them 28 points to start the night.

Allison Iraheta, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey comprise this season’s final four.

Taking the stages to sing with Slash and the band, Kris, again, just can’t rise to the occasion, Danny grunts and shoves out the best notes he can, which aren’t that good, while Adam and Allison own the song.

Before anyone was announced safe, Paula Abdul left her judge’s chair to perform her new single “I’m Just Here for the Music.”

We thought they didn’t allow lipsyncing on Idol.

It’s Rock Week, bitches.

For the first time, the final four were paired up to sing duets as Guns n’ Roses guitarist Slash put them through their paces at the Roxy with a full band and none of the usual soft light, hand-holding, Barry Manilow, “Let’s all sing Kum Ba Yah” and try to impress Randy antics Idol is so prone to.

Melissa and Tony were invited back to dance their perfect 30 scoring Samba. And, this time, Melissa’s boob stayed tucked away.

The first safe couple is Gilles and Cheryl, followed by Melissa and Tony.

This week the new wannabe pros were paired with a previous star to see if they can teach as well as they can dance.

Shawn and Mark started the night with their Quick Step. First of all, we love that they danced to Robin Williams’ song from Aladdin, “Friend Like Me.” We were having major high school flashbacks. The dance was everything you’d want from a Quick Step; it was perky, ebullient and energetic. “That was fun, joyful, carefree,” Len began. “You danced like Sporty Spice…Great job,” Bruno cheered. “Your best dance EVER,” Carrie Ann agreed. Three nines give them 27 points.

Getting down to business, the Idols are split into two groups with Matt Giraud and Kris Allen on one side of the stage, Allison Iraheta and Danny Gokey on the other.

Ryan Seacrest asked Adam Lambert which side of the stage he thought he belonged on. Although he hemmed and hawed for a moment, Adam chose Allison and Danny, thinking they were the better performers last night.

After letting him join them, Ryan announced he was in the wrong group and needed to join Kris and Matt to complete this week’s bottom three.

BURN!

Singing standards made iconic by the Rat Pack, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin, Danny, Allison, Matt, Adam and Kris, the American Idol Top Five, took the stage last night.

Since all the men involved in the Rat Pack are now, sadly, dead, AI busted out Jamie Foxx as their replacement.

Someone pulled some major strings to get that big ol’ plug for The Soloist.

This season is far and away the most uniformly talented and loveable cast ever to appear on Dancing with the Stars.

As the finals quickly approach, the competition becomes more fierce and the eliminations more painful.