toni braxton

Look out Naomi Malone, Dancing with the Stars alums Melanie Brown and Kelly Monaco heading to the Vegas stage.

Monaco, who won season one before being dethroned in a rematch with John O’Hurley and Brown, who was runner up to Helio Castroneves, are set to star in Peepshow, a topless, burlesque-style revue that is expected to open in March at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino.

Supposedly Brown and Monaco will keep their goodies covered but the showgirls surrounding them will be topless. Brown will be “scantily clad, but in a classy way,” she says.

The couple invited back for an encore this week was Cody and Julianne re-performing their jitterbug. Proving she’s a consummate professional, whatever stomach problems Julianne may have been experiencing, you’d never have known by the performance she turned in. It was so good in fact, the audience AND the judges lauded them with a standing ovation.

Lance and Lacey started the show and Lance revealed that when ‘N SYNC first signed with a record label, they didn’t want him in the group because his dancing skills were so bad compared to the other guys. Their West Coast Swing was the first time we could see why. There was no swing to be found, it looked more like a dude at a bar after one too many but not quite enough to make it good. Lance even slipped during the routine, recovering nicely but eating it none the less. The judges and audience were in stunned, stupefied silence.

Because we aren’t already battling major voter fatigue, throughout last night’s show election style mud-slinging promos randomly aired. The whole “I’m Toni Braxton and I approved this message” thing was cute but we need a break from campaigning, not a running gag about it.

After weeks of being either bashed or maligned by the judges, Lance and Lacey are chosen to encore their Gothic punk tango. We love the encores because the performers are so much more relaxed and L & L demolish the dance floor once again!

DWTS Elimination Night always sucks. ABC makes us suffer through sixty minutes to reach the 10 seconds when they announce who’s cut. Making last night even suckier: one of the first safe couples. 

Seriously, America? Seriously?

You saved Kim and her Norman Schwarzkopf of an ass? What were you thinking? Now we have to suffer through another week of her phony humility and moronic blathering. Thanks.

The first safe couple cpening the show are Lance and Lacey performing a quick step. Once again, it’s obvious this is the couple everyone else needs to be gunning for. The joy on both of their faces when they’re dancing is utterly winning. We love Lance, we want to be his friend, eat Ben & Jerry's together, and play truth or dare. Even if the judges are extra harsh are on them (seriously, Len, chill out), we still think these two are going far.

Last night, Dancing with the Stars returned with a two hour spectacular and within the show’s first minute we already have a problem. Can anyone tell Cody Linley apart from Derek Hough? Those boys were separated at birth by an eyebrow. And really, Lance Bass couldn’t dress for the occasion? Every other guy is decked out, Mr. *N SNYC is in a t-shirt and vest. Boo. Misty May looks HOT and Kim Kardashian looks like the whore she is. Let's take this party to the dance floor.

Dancing with the Stars Season Seven Cast List:

This morning we announced the new cast of Dancing with the Stars. According to our sources, rehearsals have already begun and, after taking season six off, Maksim Chmerkovskiy IS back!

If you don’t want season spoilers, don’t read any further.

Otherwise, read on to get acquainted with the official Dancing with the Stars stars:

Toni Braxton, best known for the power ballad "Unbreak My
Heart", was rushed to a Las Vegas
hospital on Monday evening for chest pain after her nightly performance at the
Flamingo. The reason for her admission hasn't been disclosed but hospital
officials report the 40 year old is in "good condition".

Earlier this year, Braxton revealed she has a pericarditis,
which causes an inflammation of the sac surrounding her heart.