Universal

To quote our mom: We need this like we need a loch in kop.

What the hell are they thinking????

Some a-hole has decided to remake Clue.

Our friend John told us about it last night and we could only think of one thing:

“Flames, on the side of my face. Breathing…breathless…heaving breaths.”

Why must they screw around with a film that is already brilliant and perfect?

We can’t get enough!

Universal has ensured that Jason Bourne, Matt Damon’s highly successful action franchise, will continue to live on.

After creating an overall deal with the estate of The Bourne Identity author, Robert Ludlum, the studio now has exclusive rights to the Jason Bourne character and a first look agreement for any other Ludlum novels.

That means we can expect to see The Bourne Provocation, Intimidation, Infatuation, whatever.

Does anyone remember Justin Guarini?

He came in second to Kelly Clarkson on American Idol’s first season. But unlike Clay Aiken (who was the silver medalist to Ruben Studdard’s gold), Guarini went from toast of the town to punchline.

Case in point: Justin Guarini performs a free show at Universal Citywalk in Los Angeles yesterday. For those unfamiliar, Citywalk is a big outdoor mall. Justin Guarini has sunk to Tiffany’s level.

No words necessary, the look on his face says it all.

Miley Cyrus spent yesterday enjoying her summer vacation with friends and family at Universal Studios’ Theme Park.

Umm, doesn’t she realize she works for Disney and she’s already on thin ice after the whole (ridiculous and puritanical) Vanity Fair “scandal?"

Maybe not the best time to have a photo of you and your friends gettin’ down on the new Simpsons ride. Maybe next time you should opt for Pirates of the Caribbean or Splash Mountain.

Or, hey, maybe she just doesn’t care anymore and she’s just being Miley.