Warren Sapp

Last night's Dancing with the Stars finale was two torturous hours long, but that's why you have us! We know the only thing that matters is who took the mirror ball trophy home.

In the end, it was Brooke Burke and Derek Hough facing off against Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson.

And the winners are....
Brooke and Derek!!!!

It’s the finals, y’all!

Only three dancers are still ready to rumba: Lance Bass, Brooke Burke and Warren Sapp. We hate to gloat…but we’re going to anyway. When we exclusively announced the DWTS cast list in August, a week before it was revealed on Good Morning America, we called Final Three as Warren, Lance and Susan Lucci. Two out of three, baby!

Who will take home the mirror ball trophy? The anticipation is killing us so let’s dive in.

Before a single dancer hit the floor last night, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, sounding incredible, sang her classic “Chain of Fools.” If ABC is going to make us sit through an hour of filler before announcing which three couples have made it to the finals, THIS is the kind of entertainment we wish we had all the time.

Following Aretha was the emerging princess of pop, Leona Lewis. She is stunning in every imaginable way: her face, her voice, her body, her hair. We love Leona!

With only one week until the semi-finals, last night’s show started with the final four in foul form.

Cody and Edyta, who’s still filling in for Julianne who hasn’t fully recovered from her appendectomy, performed an affably charming Foxtrot for their first dance. It wasn’t fireworks and lightning but it had a charm, grace and ease, which Cody’s mad frenetic energy (which we dig) usually lacks. Len was “pleasantly surprised. You had an elegance and I thought you did a top notch job.” “I never thought I would see it!

Last night Len kicked off the show by saying “I know that last night, the election, was exciting but for us, Monday night was absolutely fantastic.” Really, Len? Really? You’re comparing a historic victory and the election of the first African-American or bi-racial President of the United States to a bunch of D-List celebrities prancing around in Bedazzled spandex and satin outfits? Oooookay.

Rather than choosing just one dance to encore, last night the entire cast was invited back to perform the group hip hop number again. We love watching the crowd because seeing everyone dance side by side gives a chance to size the competition up as a whole.

First up were Maurice and Cheryl dancing a Viennese Waltz which was technically proficient but lacked any chemistry. Guest judge Michael “Lord of the Dance” Flatley said it was unbelievable to see the fastest man on earth do something “so slow and elegant” even though he thought parts could have been a little smoother. Carrie Ann praised the improvement in Maurice's posture but was also struck by how little connection there was between M&C. Bruno, filling Len’s shoes as the surly, hard to please judge, said it lacked “the sweep and the grace it needed.

The couple invited back for an encore this week was Cody and Julianne re-performing their jitterbug. Proving she’s a consummate professional, whatever stomach problems Julianne may have been experiencing, you’d never have known by the performance she turned in. It was so good in fact, the audience AND the judges lauded them with a standing ovation.

Lance and Lacey started the show and Lance revealed that when ‘N SYNC first signed with a record label, they didn’t want him in the group because his dancing skills were so bad compared to the other guys. Their West Coast Swing was the first time we could see why. There was no swing to be found, it looked more like a dude at a bar after one too many but not quite enough to make it good. Lance even slipped during the routine, recovering nicely but eating it none the less. The judges and audience were in stunned, stupefied silence.