Taryn Manning’s Rainbow Brite Whore-a-Ween

Taryn Manning was snapped being helped out of the Chateau Marmont after a Halloween party on Saturday so totally wasted, her friends had to hold her up. Luckily she didn’t have to walk because she was on rollerskates so her band of marauding sluts just had to wheel her around. Good thinkin’.

What is Taryn dressed as anyway? Rainbow Brite Does Xanadu? And what’s up with her friends? The pirate is wearing Julia Roberts pre-makeover Pretty Woman boots, and her other friend apparently just said, “Screw it. I’m wearing a bathing suit sized dress and calling it a costume.” That is waaaay too much crotch she’s flashing.

Can someone please explain the enticement of Taryn Manning to us?

Her nasally, girlie, lispy voice makes us wonder if Daddy might have loved her too much, and she’s stunted. (Dr. Drew says that happens.) Her meth face is beyond not cute, and we can take or leave her acting. And every time we see her, she’s FUBAR.

IMDB has her listed with seven movies coming down the pike (only one of which, Taylor Hackford’s Love Ranch, will probably be seen anywhere besides late night cable). That is incomprehensible to us though. In truth, her career has consisted largely of films like that, and we’re rarely inflicted with her presence onscreen. How does she keep getting hired?

It's time to vote Captain Legwarmers off the island. We’re over it.