Spencer Pratt’s Sex Tape Confession

After almost three dull-as-dishwater years of back and forth bickering on The Hills (“There is a sex tape,” “Nuh uh,” “Yuh huh,” “Nuh uh,” “You’re a liar,” “No, you’re a liar”), Spencer Pratt has confessed to masterminding the sex tape scandal between his reality TV co-star Lauren Conrad and her ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler.

Because anyone cares anymore.

The potential of that sex tape is the only thing that ever made LC even slightly interesting.

The rumors are the reason Lauren is no longer friends with Spencer’s fiancé (wife, as of Saturday), Heidi Montag, and it’s been The Central Drama Issue on The Hills for three seasons.

That horse is dead, cremated, ashes scattered and reincarnated, it’s been so beaten.

Pratt denied his involvement all along but has finally come clean.

Conrad tells the New York Post, “We actually have it on tape. He takes responsibility and apologizes for it.”

Of course he does and of course they do.

This could be the last season of The Hills, they have to wrap these limp story lines up.

MTV needs to go back to playing music videos rather than churning up formulaic, vapid, driveling drama.

—Sasha Perl-Raver