See It or Skip It: The Love Guru

There is nothing to love about The Love Guru.

Even the supremely stoned or irremediably immature will be hard pressed to find the laughs in Mike Myers’ new film about America’s #2 spiritual leader on a desperate quest to land a seat on Oprah’s couch so he can dethrone the reigning king of karma, Deepak Chopra.

Mike Myers wrote and stars as the Guru Pitka, the first original role he’s created since his beloved Austin Powers. As charming as Myers can be, he’s strapped himself with a 90 page gorilla of a script which should never have been longer than a 3 minute SNL skit.  The comedy wears thin almost immediately and all Myers can do is beat a poor dead horse to a bloody pulp for the next 87 minutes.

Our beloved Justin Timberlake belly flops with his bad Canadian accent and lovely face obscured by an Isro wig and porn stache and Jessica Alba, though stunning, is as worthless as ever. We get that she’s gorgeous but people need to stop hiring her, she can’t act and is a waste of time and space.

If your idea of uproarious comedy is watching Ben Kingsley (as in Sir Ben “I won an Oscar for playing Gandhi” Kingsley) lead a group of wanna-be gurus in a “stinky mop” duel where their weapons are mops soaked in urine, by all means, this is the movie for you.

But if you value great writing, strong direction, good acting or even, simply, your time, don’t go anywhere near this pile of Pitka.

We want our 90 minutes back!